2x4 therapy means that if she puts things gently, I don't get it, so she has to be very blunt and knock me over the head with it. It was over a year ago when she brought that up the first time, and I told her to go ahead if that's what it takes. Later on, I realized that it did hurt to be treated that way, and that I was probably even using her to feel hurt when I encouraged it. I guess we're back to that point though.

I think that I have been very negative with her, and maybe getting more so, and I can understand her being so frustrated with me. Maybe she does have to talk to me this way in order to get me to change. I wish that we could turn it around and make it more positive. My previous T was always trying to be positive and tell me that I was good, and I just brushed that off though.

As much as I appreciate all of your support, I think more of this is really my doing than I've shown you. I try to show my good side in public, but maybe all I've been showing her is the bad.

Rap