I'm sitting here trying to decide if I want to email T and tell him I don't want to have a session tomorrow-which I'm not even positive we were going to have-he said he would see me next week and that it would be on Monday-I even asked him if he was sure since he was going out of town...so I emailed him on Friday and asked if we were still going to have one...and I havent heard from him...and it's causing me such great anxiety and anger...feelings I thought I was over with him...but it feels like it did in the beginning...and I want so bad to email him right now and make up an excuse to not have a session...
However my thoughts are in a horrible space right now still...which is also confusing me because they are making me want to push away from him-not see him-when I thought it would make me want to have him...ugg I'm exhuasted emotionally today...I dont know what to do...I'm asking for some perspective before I send an email I might regret....