Hi delicatefade26, I am sorry you are having a tough time with this - I know the feelings you describe well and it can be very confusing.

My T once told me to keep going to see him even if he turns bad in my mind. I didn't know what he meant at the time, but now when I get that urge to bolt, I remember this and stop myself from quitting.

If you thoughts are all over the place right now, I would think that is more of a reason to go than not to go.

Let us know how you are doing - Soup