I have attempted to start this thread at least 10 times now but I don't know why I think it sounds stupid.

Anyway I have kind of promised myself that this year will be a better year but I know deep down it will be a terrible year, My dad will be arrested anytime now and then there will be a court case, I know he deserves what is coming to him but I can't help but feel sorry for mum she isn't in good health herself.

Besides all this I feel so low right now, I miss so many people in my life, I wish I kept my mouth shut in a way then everything would be ok, The 1 friend I talked to online I lost her through my own stupid fault, I want to runaway from all this, I feel so lonely, I keep this all to myself and try to put a brave face on everyday but I find it is becoming harder, Last night everyone wishing eachother happy new year and that I thought this year is just going to be awful, I want to escape from this crap. I want my big brother back why did he have to die? why did he have to leave me? Life is so cruel.