(((((Seeker))))

At least your recognizing that some of the issues you struggle with are a result of what you learned while growing up. I think the first part of taking steps to improve our lives is to understand that some of our issues are not our fault, we just were imprinted with some negetive conditioning.

For so many years, often even now, there was a certain concern or demand to present a certain pubic image. It is not unusual for many (especially in my age group, 50's and those that are older even) for that concern about what the neighbors see and think. There is a certain knowledge about presenting the correct public display, but the knowledge about what SHOULD take place inside the home in family was not really taught, or known. The sentiment of children should be seen and not heard resonated for many generations. It really was not recognized how much children really absorb and it is not unusual for many to grow up with too much concern about the opinions of others, rather than finding their own identity and personal talents etc.
without being self conscious.

No, your not a basket case, you have a genuine concern, a concern shared by many.
The important thing to know is that you have had the courage to ask and your willing to learn beyond the constrictions of childhood experiences.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes