I hate life so much right now. I went to a psychiatrist recently (last week) and started on Celexa, I go back to her Wednesday but she is only really watching me for a month because of the distance and her time in the office and my thoughts/behaviors she said I have to transfer to someone closer to home which I'm okay with because I don't like her. I still see my same therapist and the whole situation made me realize just how much I am glad I have him to talk to. I've hardly been eating and I just feel off. I've felt really ****** for the last 3-4 weeks before even starting the medication. I make it to work(both jobs) and I'm okay-ish there because I am distracted but any down times I get flooded with feelings. My feelings at this point though are seemingly out of my control... I just can't process anything to be of any use. I hate being told oh you have so many good things going for you or anything that is like wow your feelings don't seem valid at all. I hurt and I have an impossible time letting anyone into my feelings. I want to but the mere thought sends me into panic. I'm doing my best and at times people see that and at times they get frustrated with me and can't stand me. I'm not sure why I put everyone else through trying to help me.