I wish I could say that all is wonderful, and this I am ready to tackle the world. I am still working at this, but it is hard. I haven't been able to completely give up the drinking, and I have used some other drugs in a way that I should not have, but I am keeping a drink count and being honest about it. Of course, I can't drink when taking Klonopin, so I am forced to change my habits most days.

Also, I have messed up my ad meds because I decided that I knew better how to adjust these than my doctor, who wrote out detailed instructions. I am too embarrassed to share what I have done in this post, but I am feeling the effects of my mistakes, and I will have to call my doctor on Tuesday. I dread having to acknowledge what I have done in order to get myself regulated. This is after I assured the doc at my last appt. that I did not need for my husband to help distribute the medications. It is also back the the T on Tuesday, so I will get to hear myself admit how messed up my thinking is a second time.

Maybe someone can give some suggestions on how to protect myself from my irrational thoughts. Hopefully I don't do too much damage before my psych. visit in a couple of weeks. The bad thing is, I am not trying to be self-destructive. Somewhere in my mind I keep justifying what I am doing.

Bluemountains