I was an only child...armed with my mom's advice/reassurance that I should just do my best, but never being taught what that meant or how I knew what my best is. Caught in a never ending cycle of unrelenting standards I often ruminate or compare where I should be or what I should be doing to where I am at this moment. BPD suffers like us tend to see things in black or white, so it leaves very little room to see the shades of grey...it leaves almost no room for mistakes and asking for help is just another reminder of us not being where we feel we should be.

I'm just starting to come to terms with that perfectionistic, black and white thinking...it takes time...I just started a book that takes a indepth look at perfectionism. Now that I'm gearing up for school, I need to be ever so careful.

B1_NRecovery has some great suggestions. Sometimes phones are not as helpful...maybe face-to-face can be easier...A quick call to arrange a time to meet might be easier. There is at least one person in your life I can think of that would be there to talk.