Abuse is never healthy. I believe you are addicted to the physical pain (it releases good feeling endorphins), that you may be seriously depressed by your life.

http://www.thepositivemind.com/tpm/a...ssarticle.html

I would not say you are getting better, just because you choose to switch to one kind of pain instead of some of both. Your interactions with others, especially women, is not healthy in any way, for either person.