Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyzzyy
My ex of five years and I broke up about a year ago but remained together all the time, as if we were still in the relationship... It all happened so fast and I always thought my ex still cared about me the same way and that we would end up back together eventually. I didn't see any of this coming.
Anyway, how can I be friends with my ex and put my other feelings aside?? we have to still have contact regardless because we have two dogs and neither one of us is willing to give them up.
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Hi Lyzzzyy! The biggest thing that struck me, and I hope this is not too bold, is that you thinking that you'd get back together again is undoubtedly the source of your bad feelings about this. "Ex" and "get back together" don't make a good mix and are pretty much a recipe for heartbreak. To me, ex means ex. Past, not present -- the very meaning of "ex", after all. It doesn't mean you can't be friends, but, imo, you're going to have to
really understand that for even a chance for friendship to work. You DO need space to heal. Don't worry about the friend thing right now, it's time to process and let go. Trying to do both at once? Definitely wouldn't recommend that. No sense in muddling the waters you are trying to navigate.
In answer to your post title. Yes, I am friends with my ex. Totally amicable break. 25 years. We fizzled over a long span. Never lost mutual respect, though. He is a good man. We just didn't belong together anymore. So if I respect him, and he respects me, why would we not wish each other the best? Isn't that what friends do?