i think early on, safety was discussed... i guess you would say covertly/vaguely. like talked around. but things were not improving because i literally had no comprehension of what it was to feel safe, of what safety entails, how to feel safe, etc. i knew it was a word, but had no experience of it. i couldn't even comprehend that i was actually feeling unsafe because that was all i knew (it was "normal").

so we needed to start talking about safety openly/specifically/overtly. Actually work out what felt unsafe about things (like sitting there with t), how we might change things to feel safer, see how it felt when things were changed. i had to start to learn the difference between feeling unsafe and safe.

i never would have been able to do this if safety remained some vague concept.