I just read this through and it made me cry..I don't understand any therapist verbally knocking their client down to motivate them to change..please don't blame yourself..yes, you have the knowledge, and the gift to counsel others, but that doesn't mean you have arrived yourself at the place where you do it all in your own life..you deserve to be supported, encouraged, heard, and understood..not blamed for someone elses' personal frustration..thinking of you..