Since this post I had my last marriage therapy appt. The marriage therapist offered to see me for a couple sessions to do touch therapy/edmr as my issue is effecting my marriage. Since a chunk of time was left during my marriage therapy appt I accepted the marriage t's offer to try it right now. I asked that my husband leave the room because I felt awkward about it. We'll I tried it and while it was kind of weird it definitely brought up things for me and I found it to be emotionally draining and a little bit calming in moments. I'm feeling upset and bothered about it. I told her I didn't believe what she wanted me to say about myself/body etc..

In the end she said that touch therapy and talk therapy would help (i can go back to old t for talk therapy) and that she can tell I'm very unsure about this. I think after this one experience I definitely want to go back to old T. While I thought I would be open to sharing things with this marriage T I think she pushes to hard to fast and I feel very afraid of opening up to her (but maybe this is what healing is supposed to feel like?). Is this what touch therapy is supposed to feel like? UGH THIS SUCKS!!!!