dear Beebizzy, Thanks for the encouraging lines. I've had a decent day, despite the empty feelings. 3 people in the "regular" world emailed me. Since I hadn't heard much from any of them since I was manic this summer, I was wondering whether they were still friends. I have much self-distrust at the moment. I'm taking a gamble on the prescriptions--can hardly believe I will get some good feelings back. But tomorrow I see the prescribing doctor, who I think will up the dosage of each (seroquel & lamictal). I note that you say you are "bipolar II." That is what Dr says I am, but I at times wonder whether I am really worse than that & just cover up well. I am a bundle of anxieties & fears at the moment. anyway, i do appreciate your reaching out. felix