mtd, Oh how I wish none of this had happened to you. I will probably never understand what people are "working out" by abusing others, especially children.... I flash all the time on stinky memories. At this point, being older and well practiced, I have a program established in my head to IMMEDATELY push the bad picture out by putting a good picture in. Shift the balance to more good pictures than bad....
It's hard work. Kindnesses here help load the good side.
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