Elliemay - you may have a point there. Do I read too much? Probably. But I read to understand. The readings don't prompt my questions; my questions prompt my readings.

Feiticeira- yes, I think I understand that - our habitual behaviors make up our identity. And I'll add that our identity can change if we change our behaviors, thoughts or feelings. So, again, our identity is nothing concrete. You say authentic self is acting in alignment with our thoughts and feelings. So, therefore, the authentic self is also not concrete with that as the definition.

stopdog - why am I trying to distinguish between them? I guess it's my attempt to understand myself and get to know who I am. Those terms are bandied around and I have a tough time grasping exactly what they mean.

My T suggests that what I'm doing in therapy is to find my authentic self and thereby be able to live comfortably in my own skin and also act according to my values. But does the authentic self need to include all that disgusts me about myself? Well,sure - if it's to be considered authentic.

I struggle with self-loathing. I want to be a better person. I don't know how I should view myself. As I've been telling more and more of my 'story' to my T, I am filled with feelings of shame and guilt and self-hatred.

My T and others tell me that my story does not define me. I can understand that the story is just one part of a mosaic. But it's there and it does exist. And not only does it reflect on me now in the present but the 'me' that's in the story has not changed.

I want to be a different person. I want to have strength to live my life the way I want to live my life. I want to know that I possess positive attributes. I want to be comfortable with myself.

So, as I struggle to improve myself (and fail fail fail), it's very important to me to understand 'personality', 'identity', 'core self', 'authentic self'. I want to know who I am - am I doomed to be what my 'personality' is right now? And will I move closer to acting according to what my 'authentic' self is? How will I know if it's 'authentic'?