Thank-you for your helpful comments. I am working on establishing boundaries. It is just hard, because Anger and verbal abuse trigger a lot of anxiety. It is hard for me to keep calm or keep from crying. When he yells at either me or his father " the f*#$ out of my face" I try to answer calmly that I cannot allow you to swear and speak to me like that. Then I just leave and go to another room and try to calm down. I hope that is setting a boundary but it doesn't do much to change his behavior.

I am still trying to sort out what is real and what is my stuff from the past. I went through a lot of emotional abuse growing up from both my father and brother. I am sure that it must also trigger things now. I did have a talk with my husband about how I feel and he actually listened too me. I am not sure he knows what to do though. It is not my nature to be combative and judgmental. I just want things to work for everybody, but sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own home.