With my old T I had so many issues with emailing, with my new T, she's not the same and I'm in a different place. Yet, I still have to keep reminding myself that she is NOT my old T. She will not necessarily react the same ways my old one did. Just trying to push through some rough patches, having to visit family and stuff has been great but, is bittersweet. Often, I feel like I'm in a huge black and white cloud and I'm just drifting back and forth in a depression I can't escape from. Yet, on the outside I hold myself together, laugh away the pain and pretend as if I'm okay. I've just ceased my striving for answers thats all. The last 2 years have had their difficulties and I just can't strive any more...I'm tired. Really Really Tired. So, I just sit back and I feel like I'm just letting the days pass me by... until I can get back to my college campus. I breifly told my new T all of this, basically saying sometimes its harder for me to deal with everything when I'm not away at school and she said write whenever I wanted too but, I'm holding back...

I guess we all hold back from things we need in therapy don't we?