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Ok i really don't know how to start this. Me personally don't think i have an eating disorder but i have been thinking about it a lot these days and well, i realised even when i was a small child i never used to eat much ever and my mom used to threaten me with "if you don't eat i will take you to the hospital and they will feed you through a tube" So it's not like it's only now that i don't eat much...it's been there all my life...has for as i can remember really.
I used to eat when people where watching me just so that they wouldn't think anything of it but if i wasn't being watched i wouldn't eat it. It's like now really, i eat in front of people so they see i'm eating but when i'm at my flat on my own i just don't even bother with food really. I can go with days where i don't eat anything at all but then when others come i force myself too but i don't get a lot b/c i know my body can't handle it.
Last year was such a bad year for me....i kept vomiting alot without knowing why i was....i wasn't making myself sick at all....all i had to do was eat something and not long after i would vomit....i couldn't keep anything down at all and i love loads of weight b/c of it....my doctor back home kept weighing me and wasn't happy with my weight....even my new one now that i see b/c i moved and live alone....she isn't happy with my weight either and wants me to gain it but i really don't want to gain it.
I really don't know anymore....does is sound like i do?? Could i have an ED?? OR is it just something else?? OR i really don't know!! Help anyone please??
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Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you.
iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again
Last edited by Christina86; Jan 03, 2012 at 02:56 AM.
Reason: added trigger icon on request
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