As someone who had a court restraining order I can tell you that the court will only enforce the order if there is a complaint from the wife. My BF has a restraining order but after he went through drug detox we started living together again. We were both in violation of the order but the court doesn't go looking for that kind of stuff.

It sounds as though he was not honest with you on several levels. It may hurt now but most likely you are better off without him.