Hi, kdclement; I am not sure I understand. I cannot picture this in my mind's eye? What was the "purpose" of her shoving you out of the way? Out of the way of what? Did she try to take over opening the curtains or were you standing somehow blocking her access to something? What was said, if anything?

Good communication usually happens at the time one experiences an event. My husband once struck me and I instantly asked, "Why did you hit me?" Communication requires checking one's understanding and/or using "I" sentences. I could have said, "I am angry that you hit me." We need to tell the other person we are engaged with what is going on with us, first!

My husband explained why he hit me, I had put both of us in danger. I agreed with his assessment of the situation, apologized and we went on with my being more careful.

If I had let him know I was angry (and why) he could have given his view of the incident and we could have gone back and forth until we were in agreement or had an understanding we each individually felt was right. If I had not agreed with my husband's view of the situation, I would have used more I sentences to express my boundaries and what I was going to do (anger is information that you feel threatened and need to do something to protect yourself; it is not an "action" (i.e., it is not yelling or screaming or punching walls or hurting another) of its own). I might have finished with, "I will not tolerate being hit. Do not ever hit me again or I will leave."

But I do not understand your push out of the way. If she thought you were in danger, that's a good thing. But since she later claimed to not know what you were talking about (which is why communication right away is important), whatever happened probably was not that great, in an average scheme of things, to be concerned about. If she had knocked you down, she would have remembered that

If she was good-naturedly pushing you aside so she could get in front of the window too and succeeded in doing that and you did not say/do anything, that would be a "seamless" positive experience to her and she might not remember "parts"?

Again, that is why it is important to report any feelings you have while with another, so each person's experience can be as positive as possible. As it is, she had a neutral/positive experience and you, apparently, had a negative one and now, later, you are discussing the negative one and implying it was her fault. That discussion has to be a negative one (as in math, a positive times a negative equals a negative :-)