Perna, thanks for you very clear examples and explanation. So you think what a person wants is their identity? So, if i want to be a writer but I have no talent, then that wanting is not my identity? And getting in touch with the reality of the situation (no talent) is getting clear about one's own identity?

Ok - so what about wanting to be, say, a kinder person? If I can't manifest that desire, even though it's what I really want, how can I say that my identity is a 'kind person'?

And to confuse things even more, what is 'character'? Is our character the same as our identity?