I saw my t today. She was much more accepting and kind and gentle than I led myself to believe she would be (seems to be a common theme with me, catastrophizing).

Now, because of what I have been using to cut, and the fact that it is something my husband has on a regular basis because of his work, t wants me to bring my husband to my session next week.

We had discussed this a while ago, but I avoided it and then si'd less frequently.

T is afraid if I keep up at the rate I'm going, I'd end up hospitalized again (I told her that I'd NEVER go to the hospital again). So then she said she didn't want to see me end up dead because I can't get things under control...

So now, I have to try and force myself to tell my husband that I need him to go to therapy with me.

T was nice and offered to use a different room than her office, which is good, because otherwise her office would no longer be my safe place.

Anyway, I guess I'm just rambling, but I know some of you will kind of understand, and rambling helps me not feel like throwing up at the thought (well, not as much anyway)