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Sanada · Jan 03, 2012, 05:05 PM

Hello Nemo....Happy New Year.

Triggering is going to happen all the time I guess, its how we deal with it that counts. I have been addicted to s/h (s/i), it is like alcohol and drugs, its addictive.
I say to my T though that I was born additive to life...

i.e........I told my T that when I was 5-7 yrs old i was addicted to films and music and chess. I would wake in the morn and think of nothing else, the music and films and the way I will win at chess was only on my mind.
i guess the point I was trying to make to ym T was 'I have an addictive persona', she said 'so do I'. I guess that we are all controled by something in our lifes that helps us "seem" we have control.

I asked my T................ 'I am an adult male, when I wake up in the morn, the only thing I think of is control of my emotions. So must I play music, read a book, watch a dvd, or even go for a walk to control how my day proceeds. Or do 'I' control how I feel. She could not ans that question. The only thing I got from that session is that 'I' am in control of "what 'I' do", how 'I' feel will not change'.

I asked myself what do I do....(I am still asking myself that).

I do not surpose to know deep down how you feel nemo. I guess the only advice I could give is (I guess), trust your instinct, cutting and counting dates are one and the same to me.
Instinct guides really well. Trust your self and the people you can irl.

(btw....sui is something i have been through and i have thought about lots, but I love life too much now........its some thing at the back of my mind now, I know its there, but I have control of it now).

To be Triggered is to be alive. To deal with it well is to be Human...

((nemo)). dont beat your self up over dates.

I hoped this helped in any way possible.
S
xxxx