I am so glad that you are going to get help. Often guilt feelings are hard to process even though there is little or nothing we can do to change our past. We just get to affect the present and plan for the future. Since your wife is supportive you have a great thing going for you. She is a gem that you should treasure. I wish you all of the best. It sounds like others have forgiven you, now forgiving yourself is the hard part. My prayers are with you