Thanks, Granite. I don't see my T for two weeks because of the pdoc visit next week. It is hard to take off too much time from work. I will call if I have to, but I don't want to. I have asked my husband to help me identify if I need to call, because I think so irrationally at both poles.

I agree, Hankster, I'd love a bodyguard, as long as he has the bodyguard looks and muscles to go with the package

Mcl, I am so glad to hear that it is possible to break away from expectations. It will probably be hard for me, because I am such a pleaser, even with a father who is one of two responsible for my csa.

Thanks, stopdog. I am especially raw now with the emotions because of therapy, so I was beyond stressed last night.

And yes, Roadrunner, I, too, was raised in that duty-to-family era. I was taught to play by the rules, even when there were monsters among my family.

Oh well, time to hunker down and ride out the depression! Forgive me in advance if I post lots of whining and sobbing over the next couple of weeks.

Hugs to you all!
Bluemountains