I'm so sorry that things didn't go well for you, kansas when you decided to leave therapy. I've left therapy many times, overwhelmed with the emotions that the relationship stirred up. I needed that time to calm myself, regroup and think about whether or not I wanted to be in therapy and if I want or can even handle the emotional turmoil it has stirred up. Sometimes I'd take off a few weeks and other times I've left for three or four months. My therapist, bless her heart, has never, ever contacted me or "chased me down". I don't think it would have been helpful for me. I came to learn that I was the one in charge of whether or not I wanted to continue that relationship.

But whenever I contacted her and asked her if I could make a new appointment, she always welcomed me back without reservations or newly instituted rules or regulations meant to trap me or corner me into committing. I would walk through the door and she would consistently greet me with the same warm smile and gentle greeting. She would always let me know that she was glad I had returned and she had thought of me often. I learned over time that I truly was in charge and that she was willing to hold a place for me no matter what. I've begun to realize that this has been one of the most healing parts of my entire treatment.

Take your time, breath deep and consider if the relationship is worth the turmoil. If it is, call or email and ask to return. And when you return, talk about what happened to trigger the exit and the subsequent desire to return.

Therapists pretty much allow clients to take the lead when it comes to coming and going. Some might encourage you to returen but most allow you to make that decision. And some therapists are pretty strict about continuous cancellations and or long vacations without reason. But other therapists see the client as the one who gets to make that decision and if they have an opening in their schedule, they allow the client to return.

And just one final comment . . . friendship after therapy is truly a major pitfall . . . Why do I say that? Read the number of people here on PC who have experienced that very same trap and in most cases, it almost always leads to hurt feelings and a deep sense of betrayl. Our therapeutic relationship is not a friendship, it is one sided. The ethical rule putting the nix on friendships following a therapeutic relationship is there for a reason. It doesn't, however, mean we can't return to see our therapists if we ever need a "tune up" or feel the need to reconnect with our home base! I hope things work out for you.