many of us are reluctant to have a r/s w/T because it's not "real", it can't continue, blah blah blah. yet we let the dentist drill a hole in our bad tooth because we trust him to repair it before we leave. We don't just talk about the tooth. Those repeated repairs - experiencing actual pain or even just awkwardness in your dealing with T, TELLING THEM WHERE IT HURTS (it's scaring me just to write that!), and then letting them help you, even if they don't do it perfectly at first, or ever! really, just letting them in, and not feeling like YOU have to handle it on your own because no one else cares and no one else is coming to help. I guess to the point where your baseline attitude finally becomes I belong with people, rather than I have to be alone because people just hurt you.