I agree with Butterlcup. I have been struggling with major depression pretty much my whole adult life and never gotten a handle on it. I have no spouse or children. Hardly a day goes by when I really question my quality of life and very existence. BUT I would never end my life myself. My dad is still around (87) and I have siblings and nieces and nephews. My disease causes me to think that none of them would give a rip anyway (except for Dad), but my common sense tells me otherwise. I think it would be the epitome of selfishness to end my life. Years ago I had a friend whose brother committed suicide over a failed relationship and I will never forget how it affected her, her parents, and the whole family. They still suffer and that was probably 15 years ago. I really do know how you feel, but please try to come up with alternatives. There ARE people who care about you.