Thank you everyone for your advice.. Your advice has been filled with true love and light and I do appreciate it much. Love to all and I am starting to work on me or have been for a while now... Sometimes we have to go through the darkest ends of ourselves or that unknowing part of ourselves to find the light at the end of that very long unusual tunnel that we get lost in sometimes. What is love without hope though? This is something I ask me all the time. Thank you all. Love and light always.. Jess