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That does help to know you're not alone indigo. That really is something that should be addressed, I've addressed it with my past t's before. The last time I talked to a t about it was a couple years ago. I watched myself from far back in my head. I was watching my body yelling and I went to hit someone but stopped a couple inches away. My body started to laugh and walk away and I'm stuck far in the back not realizing what happened or how to get in control again. At that time my t was working with me on trying to become co conscious and I was taking meds that helped progress that I guess you would call it. They really just made me dissociate out the wazoo. But yeah the feelings you described are very very familiar to me
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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