You are taking care of yourself and that is awesome. Like you I have also suffer from low self esteem and allow myself to be manipulated/controlled. it is hard to know sometimes why we behave like we do. If you make a commitment to taking care of yourself, you can also change the rules of your relationships and break the cycle of abuse. It is really hard, when you are a caring person, but it is so easy to let someone manipulate your compassion and female instinct to take care of people.
You need the love of a caring and compassionate person, not one who is stuck in a desire to control, manipulate and control you.
I wish you well in your journey