My Support Forums - View Single Post

Irreplaceable · Jan 04, 2012, 01:17 PM

Hello,
First I would like to say I'm very sorry to hear about what all is going on....And I also would like to congratulate you on that little bundle of joy! I know it's hard but please try to take it easy for the baby...He/she can feel whatever you are feeling...If you are stressed, he or she will be stressed...Now, whenever I give advice, I always like to speak from my mind the same way that I would respond if you were my relative or friend...I try to keep it real, and not sugar coat anything...Sometimes someone perspective on the outside looking in my help a bit...Moving along...

I feel like you already know what you need to do...As a woman, I feel that it is foul and disrespectful for a man to cheat on his spouse (or SO) when she is carrying his seed...It doesn't matter if he has gotten physical...He is emotionally cheating and this may eventually lead to something more...Why do I know that? He has this other lady sending him photos of her in lingerie...And hundreds of texts messages...It will only lead to something else if it hasn't been lead there yet...
I hate telling married folks that they need to bail on the relationship, but dude is not giving me good vibes...He is not remorseful...He JUST showed you the he will continue doing what he is doing...After you confronted him he texts her again? And not only that, talking like a typical cheater by saying you two are getting a divorce...If he wants to get his rocks off, HE CAN USE HIS HANDS....Hardly any remorse...And he still works with this lady?...Since we are on Psych Central and not another one of my message boards I frequent where I can say whatever whenever, I will tell you this...Dude better be glad he didn't do it to me or a woman with a certain mind set...You are already hormonal and I can only imagine the pain you felt when you found out about this...If he cheated, made a "mistake" and that was it, depending on other circumstances and how he responded when confronted, it would be an easier pill to swallow...The two things that I can't get with in this situation, is that fact that it was an on going thing...And yes it's even going on now....It wasn't like he just slept with some random person and that's it.....AND the woman knew about you? See, that right there, that's why I don't trust women around my man...Women nowadays do not care...Have no self respect, let alone respect for the other woman...The wife...Chick is bold...AND I know where you work? LOL...
Look, I would leave him...And the ONLY reason I say that, again, is because he is still talking to her...Despite you finding out and despite how you might feel...If it's not her, it might be someone else...

Believe me, I understand you and I do feel for you...Me and my SO have been together for about as long as you and your husband and this would devastate me...With an ex, like you, I found out he was talking to another girl...Having converstations with her...Behind my back...And don't you know that when I found out, it was literally like someone kicked me in my stomach and took the wind right out of me...I literally got sick...It doesn't feel good being lied to...It's much easier said than done, to just say to leave...I get it...And it makes it harder to leave when you have babies with someone....Because of the attachment you feel with them through having a child and because you don't want to upset your child/kids by leaving dad to go live somewhere else...And I would love to give him the benifit of the doubt, but he has clearly demonstrated that he will keep doing it behind you back...Lying to other women about the state of your marriage...

I would make plans to leave him...If you plan to stay, that means you have to accept that this may or may not happen again...In the back of your mind, you will never be able to trust him...Or, I should say, it will take a long time...Men are capable of being monogamus...And like I said before, if he wanted to get his rocks off that bad, dude shoulda just used his hands...He's a liar..