I don't think it's a problem with most people I don't want the whole world and his dog to know about my problems!), but it's definitely interfering in CBT as my T is falling for it and thinks I'm doing great, when I really really am not. I know they say that acting 'as if' you are fine is good in depression as it somehow convinces your brain that you *are* fine...but it has never worked for me.

However I've been working in CBT on how the things I do to 'protect' myself from rejection etc actually work to maintain my depression. For example I think I'm a bad person which makes me feel depressed. So I 'protect' myself from people finding out I'm a bad person and subsequently rejecting me, by people pleasing and acting as others want me to act. However I will never feel acceptance this way as I am always being inauthentic, and not feeling accepted fuels my depression. It's quite complicated, but has made me realise that making T laugh and enjoy my sessions so he'll like me and won't reject me, isn't actually doing me any favours. T won't keep seeing me if he thinks everything is fine so I'm being stupid by keeping up this pretence.

SophiaG - do you have a T you can be honest with? I know it's difficult but that is my goal for my next session.

Bella01 - I feel the same. I often think that it doesn't matter what I think or how I feel, as long as I behave in the way society expects (ie full-time job, live independently, later marriage & kids). And I sometimes worry that T & Pdoc only care about my behaviour too - if I was functioning fine, then no healthcare professional would care if I felt overwhelmed or suicidal, would they?!

*Willow*