OK, my girlfriend and I have talked marriage for years now. She barely makes enough to get by, and I don't end up adding much to that with my SSDI after my own expenses, and I'm too sick to work. I was really digging the idea of marrying about a year ago, but I think I was manic. I thought after I get some of my debts paid off, we could think about seriously marrying. But I think I was manic. I've told her what manic behavior is like, but she has told me things like "If you ever left me I'd break down to the core," and I know I'm in a spot now because we don't have enough to live on (I tried getting help going back to work, and the rehab for work office rejected me because I'm too tired and anxious - I should keep waiting until I feel better - it's been 6 years or more since I've felt ok to work - when will I feel better??) and she thinks I should be able to work at some point to help with the expenses, and I can't because I'm too sick. If I told her "let's just be friends," she'd equal that to me leaving her. She doesn't want to stay unmarried for the rest of her life. I don't want her hurt, but I'm getting to the point where I need to tell her "I don't think we can ever marry, due to my disability". I know there are those who do marry who have a disability, but this case isn't seeming to work. Other things that are happening are that I get really nervous when I'm around her, because she has high expectations of me, but I'm sick and I don't know how to do any better than I am.
What should I be doing?