Hi, im 30 years old, married with two children. I feel so useless in my life. My husband is a long haul truck driver, and gone 6 out of 7 days a week. When he is home all he does is play games on computer during day, and surf web all night. Our intimate life is slim to nill. I have a disease called Interstitial Cystitis, which began about 3 years ago, it has killed my life as I knew it. I use to be a very active person, and now im stuck to laying on a couch. Any physical activity just causes my disease to flare and worsen. I am on opiate pain management, which works somewhat. Im just so sick of being sick. And having a husband, who seems to not notice. This summer he had to have a hernia repair-and you would of thought he was dying, for about 8 weeks or more, I dealt with his bellyaching. I hurt 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He was much more understanding to what i was going through for the first time in 3 years while he was sick. But the minute hes up and back to work-its back to same old same old. If my insurance wont cover my meds he *****es-but he of course diidnt when it came to his. We recently moved from Washington state to Illinois, far far from home.. I absolutely hate it here. Between the hot summer and now cold fall-winter, it makes me hurt a million times worse. Im stuck inside all the time. The only time i leave is for my kids school or activities. I do have an in home care giver-who helps with house etc. You would think this would be wonderful-a maid.. But its not, I feel so useless, my kids go to her more then me for things anymore. I just cant stand my life. Id say id leave my hubby, but like Id ever meet anyone-im homebound.. I also am bi-sexual, I tried denying it all throughout growing up. I grew up in strict mormon faith. Huge family-was all disfunctional-but looked good on outside. I now have no relationship with them, due to hubby and themselves. I just thought, id live the way god demanded us too. But now I dont know. My hubby knows, and like all men, doesnt care. We have tried relations together in past-but he gets a little too nice with my partner then im comfortable-so its no longer allowed. Hes strayed in past-and having intercourse with the disease I have is impossible. Not that i ever was to into it to begin with. I just dont know what to do? Im so lonely, bored, and tired. I know somethings up with hubby, hes acting so strange lately. Our 12 yr anniversary was this past weekend, and I had to remind him just to wish me a happy one. All day he played computer-he didnt even try to be close to me.. He stayed in different room all day. I just cant take it anymore. What do I do? If i left him, id be stuck in this god awful state-with no one. No money, no family, and just my kids. Please help. I just cant take it anymore... Thanks for listening, if i didnt find this site today, i dont know what id done... Renee