Does it FEEL like you? I guess I'm just at a stage in life where looking back at my younger years and saying, I wasn't acting like myself, I was blindly imitating my mother. At my Sweet 16 birthday party (i KNOW!), I had my choice of 3 guys who liked me, I TOTALLY picked the worst one for me. My T asked me what my mother thought of N, and I was like, she didn't even know he existed. But I was so overwhelmed by HER values to have faith in and follow my personal interests - if my mother and brother said something wasn't cool, I didn't do it. I knew they would have thought N wasn't cool, he looked nerdy.

So I'm just wondering what your POSITIVE path is, what are the things you love, that you are talented in and want to devote your life to? Maybe it IS a helping profession. You are logical and articulate and caring. You obviously have a lot going on upstairs. Sometimes when the squeaky wheels are getting the grease, the quiet wheels get in a rut and don't get out.