Sometimes what we post here as a response can be taken very wrong - please know that I am offering you my thoughts in complete kindness and based upon my own life experiences.

In this situation, please follow your brain first and your heart second. From what you wrote, she is sending signals that cause me to think that she won't be able to be there for you "through sickness and health". It is a huge commitment, and I know from my own marriage that I love my disabled spouse no matter what. I made that choice and I have never had any expectation that he will be able to support us on his own. (We've been together for 13 years now).

My spouse's LTD will not increase. He will never be able to work again. I don't make a lot, but we get by and are ok. We are a team and make certain choices about where we live, how we spend, etc. We plan our lives together to make our income get us through.

You need to take care of YOURSELF first. A person can't take care of anyone else unless they do what they need for themselves first. My spouse and I live by this plan.

Will you will hurt her? Perhaps she will choose to respond that way - but maybe she is hoping that you free her to move on and find someone else.

More important - will you only be causing yourself more hurt and pain if you don't listen to your head?