Quote:
Originally Posted by Mylifeisdepressing
Sadly, no, I am not getting help. Nobody knows except kinda my best friend, but I hardly told her anything about it. I started cutting like a month ago, but only little scratches. They didn't bleed. But a week or two ago I did it again. And for 5 or 6 consecutive days now I have been cutting. And it makes me feel like some creepy "emo" freak to admit this, but I don't want to stop. I know it's bad but it makes me feel better about everything. And I don't regret it either; it's like I'm proud of the cuts. Is that terrible?
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You may have read elsewhere, how cutting can release endorpins or feel good chemicals into our bodies - SI therefore can become addicitve and progressive - needing to do it more frequently / more intensely - there are many people who have permanent scars who may have felt about them like you do, but now wish they don't have them. I do not think your thoughts and feelings about it are unusual for people who did SI.
I would srongly advise you to get help with whatever it is that is leading you to SI - my T and I do not focus on my SI (thinking / focusing too much on it can make it worse apparently) - but we look at the other stuff that leads me to choosing SI as a coping strategy. Not sure whether you feel able to talk to your parents about this or is there a counsellor at school?
You are not a creepy emo freak - because if you are that makes me one too
- for me I know that I have had a rough time in life which leads me to being overwhelmed by things and SI is just a strategy I have learned helps me in the short term.
Keep safe - Soup