(((((((((((((AniManiac)))))))))))))

I hear you. Sometimes the med stuff we do makes no sense against the self medicating stuff we know works too.

For ME I have to remember that one is legal and the other isn't. That my goal is to stay sober and clean of illegal drugs and really give the meds a chance to work.

Hang in there. Sometimes it makes no sense in the beginning of being sober and clean. Ask Questions. Do research on the internet. I am really into educating myself.

I was an undiagnosed Bipolar for years into my AA recovery. When I finally started to get treated it was a nightmare. I hated giving up the highs. The lows I could live without. The hypo mania anger/anxiety i could live without. It took a long time to finally accept that I would survive in a world that had hills instead of mountains.

I do and it's wonderful today. Sober and Clean. Since 1984. (when my meds are on track)

Hang in there.