Sorry, I need to vent to those who understand the Bipolar mind...

I found out that I was having weird side effects from all the mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics I tried (over the past year) because I was also on BuSpar! Now, I am scared I need to try everything again because it wasn't the other meds that were messing up, but rather the combination of the med with my BuSpar. *sigh* I don't want to go through it all again. The Trileptal is still giving me depressive effects,but the Cymbalta is helping somewhat. I think I need to up the dose, but I just called my p-doc and she is on vacation until the end of next month.

I just started my second semester of the PhD program. I am trying to take an extra class and got an e-mail today that I am going to be "reviewed" for my progress in the PhD program. This scares me because I am only a few months in and my one teaching evaluation didn't go so good (although 91% of my students rated me as 'excellent'). I need to be doing research, but would rather take an extra class and finish my classes early. Then again, I don't know if I can handle four classes. Three stressed me out so much last time. I don't want a review...

My parents brought me home and stayed with me a few extra days because they know I don't feel safe in my apartment. They brought my bed into the living room because the fact there is a wall between my bedroom and living room gives me great anxiety. I know that sounds weird, but walls give me anxiety when I am by myself. Then my Mom said, "well, when it's your time to die, you die and God takes you however even if someone breaks into your apartment." Ummm... you don't say that to your daughter (even though I am an adult). That freaked me out.

Thank goodness my boyfriend is moving here in April (at the latest).

Thanks for listening.