I've discussed it with my T. She knows I hate that I've put a lot of weight on recently - as I told her, I feel like I've lost my identity: I don't feel like me, and I don't even LOOK like me anymore. She said that was sad. I've also told her how I never go out without makeup, so she knows how self conscious I am. She will sometimes comment on something I'm wearing, and she always notices if I change my hair - especially hair colour (I think I freaked her out a bit when I changed it 3 or 4 times in about as many weeks, heh.) This week she said something about me looking like I'd lost weight, that I looked like I had in my face - I said I doubted it with the amount of mince pies I put away over xmas

I hate photos of myself too. I told my T about how I was mortified when someone tagged me in a recent photo on facebook - how BIG I looked, but everything really - I just didn't look how I try and kid myself I do! She said it could just be a bad photo, and said that bad photos DO exist, because there have been some of her! I doubt she ever looks big OR bad in a photo, though. (Though I don't think her photo on her website actually looks much like her - not in a good or bad way, just... I'm not sure.) Other people don't often look bad in photos to me, so I convince myself that I must actually look like I do in the photos, so any good photos of me must be when I cheated the angle or something It takes me sooo long to get a decent profile pic for facebook - I must take about a 100 shots to get one I'm happy with that I can pass off as spontaneous... I'm not vain I swear, just really self critical and self conscious. I know I'm not beautiful, I just don't want people to see how ugly I am.