beauflow - if I may reword what your boyfriend was maybe saying - "Don't be the Union Rep". That's what my hub told me over and over again when I got upset over stuff at work. It was a struggle for me because I care about others, but I have finally embraced the belief that the key to more calmness for me is to let those who are affected speak up. If they don't - well, maybe it isn't really important to them. Unless the men speak up and complain about wearing a tie do you really want to waste your valuable time and energy worrying and/or speaking for them?

As to dress codes - our company has one also. Lots of it doesn't even get enforced. Our dress code is issued from top management.

Perhaps your supervisor knows something that's changing in the code and she's being kind to give advance warning? Or, maybe she is trying in her own way to look more important? Or maybe she is hoping that if everyone who reports to her looks just a little more professional, the team will be viewed with higher respect? (that could work to your and your co-workers' benefit)!

Just thoughts. And, unless you work in an extremely professional position in an extremely upscale corporation - it is highly unlikely that the dress code would mandate dresses or skirts! It is doubtful that it would even be legal under current laws. I know that when the Chairman comes to visit we are given a courtesy "heads up" - but no one is told that they have to wear a tie or have to wear a skirt.