My husband has MS, and I have MDD. When we married it was with the explicit understanding that either one of us could be permanently disabled at any moment. Like Caretaker Leo and her husband, we base our decisions on these facts. I don't think it would be realistic to expect my husband to work if his MS worsens any more than for me to work if my depression becomes too severe. We love and care for each other very much, but we know our limits. We financially plan for every scenario so if one or both of us is disabled we still have enough to live on.

From your post it sounds like you know what the answer is. It's a hard and heartbreaking decision. However, both of you have to be realistic.