well good news, my cancer is not back. The ER doctor didn't compare the CT to previous CTs so apparently those nodes have been large for over a year, but not enough to worry about. My biggest concern right now is my back hurts so bad and I need to get things done and no one can seem to get organized and do it. I am sure it is the depression also but I want so badly to shut down and am fighting against it, just wish others would too. If I can somehow make myself care even though I am depressed, I don't understand why I can't get some action. ik probably will be another wasted day, maybe tomorrow will be better. Jan 31st the landlord wants to make a walkthrough and I want the house super clean and organized by then. Anyway, hopefully this back thing will get better soon.