Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
There may have been a thread on this but I forgot. I have another issue that gets triggered when I see photos of me. I hate, hate, hate the way I look in some pictures and I don't trust that I don't always look like that. I have a double chin and I'm overweight but usually I don't think I look ugly. But I'm never sure and I want to die when I see how I look.
Last session I mentioned eating when I'm upset, and my T asked me something about it. We've never talked about my appearance except for the makeup. I want to discuss it, but my T is SO thin. How can she understand my problem with the way I look?
I also hate that I judge people for the way THEY look, when I feel so ugly myself. I don't want people to judge me for being fat, but I judge others. Or if they're too skinny like my T. I hate myself for the way I feel!
When my T told me I looked wonderful without makeup I didn't believe her. I don't know if I dare ask her how she thinks I look, and show her the ugly pictures. I am okay looking from the right angle but what if people see me from the wrong angle? I usually don't care, but when I do, I say I'm never going to eat again. Of course I eat anyway, and can't lose weight. It wouldn't help the chin anyway.
I suppose I need to talk about this with my T even though I don't want to. I know appearance doesn't matter, like here on this forum. It doesn't matter what anyone looks like.
So, do you discuss how you look with your T if it's an issue for you?
Thanks. 
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I'm not sure if this helps but,
There was one or two times, when my stomach was growling VERY loudly during session that my T made a comment. He said/asked me why I was starving myself. (I do not think I am that thin). I told him that my weight was not his concern (ok I asked him when he became the food patroll police). Since then, he has not brought it up, except to ask if I had eaten before coming to session (Im his last one of the night) because he did not want us to be distracted by my loud stomach growling. (I eat just before I get there so it does not make noises)
Hugs