Well Tomjones, You can't fault a person for trying. Sounds like your reg doc(I presume) either isn't taking you seriously or maybe thinks you just want attention... If you have been 7 times & no luck, you might consider letting him/her know a little more about your mood & "thoughts" without them thinking you need an escort out of bldg...

Try & make this doc aware of how angry & depressed you are. This is none of my business but going 7 times, what do you discuss with this doc that has lead to nothing happening in 4 months? Be as honest as possible, especially if this is impacting things like your job, relationship with partner& if you are isolating, never leaving the house.

You mention you can't talk to your family about any of the things you are struggling with. Sounds like you've been invalidated & they either don't get it or don't want to get it. Your feelings matter. Your thoughts & frustrations do not make you a bad person, they make you a person wanting help.

This is an extreme idea of how to present yourself at the next appt. Go in looking like you haven't taken a bath, brushed teeth, or changed clothes in a couple weeks & maybe they'll take notice. This is not meant to be funny at all. There are a lot of us, in real life that the hygiene stuff completely goes by the waist side. Depending on what our dx is & what we're going thru at the time.

The other alternative, if you really want to hurt yourself or others is to go to the ER. Then someone will have to evaluate you & get you some help much quicker. On this one don't let money get in the way, you can pay twenty five dollars a month for the next five years if that's what it takes.

Don't know if this helped or not, just throwing in my 2 cents.
Take care & keep posting on how you're doing.