(((((Yoda))))) I hope you can get back on your medications, at least some of them.
There is nothing wrong with reacting when reminded of a bad situation, even though it is in your past you will remember, that must have been very upsetting when it happened. I feel the hardest part of being triggered is the anxious feeling that can come with the memory, that is the part we do have to try to control as much as we can and try to make sure we don't relive the anxiety that came with past events.

I have been thinking a lot about old memories, flashbacks. and how I get filled with anxiety that can be the worst part. I think that we naturally retreat because we begin to know that the anxiety can be what can injure our brain if we let it continue. It may be that your medication all this time may have helped your brain heal you know. I have read that SSRI's do help the amagdalla heal and grow new cells. So, try to see if you can work on not allowing the stress and anxiety get too strong. Remember that if we exprience PTSD one of the symptoms is catastrophizing and that doesn't mean that something important didnt happen, it does mean that if we are not careful we can feed more emotions than we need to into a memory by recalling the memory.

Try not to talk yourself into believing that without medication you will revert back to being out of control. I don't know what you were taking, but it may be that after a peroid you may balance out of the medication.
I was on medication years ago because I had a bad reaction to a drug that truely changed my chemistry that left me with a case of extreme depression. However after a while on medication to help me recover, I ended up easing off of the medication and I was fine.

As I mentioned, I don't know what medications you were on or why you stopped taking it, perhaps could not afford it or something, but don't just assume that you will get bad again. But if you are truely struggling, you may need to get back on some of the medication. It isn't good to doctor one's self and second guess.

((((((Hugs))))))

Open Eyes