I have been married for a little over ten years and have known my wife for over 20 years. I feel our marrage is currently safe, yet I've been talking to my psychologist about how to get my emotional needs met with my wife. I refered to them as the "warm and fuzzies". She is very educated as she has her masters degree. She grew up in a orthodox Jewish home. She is currently a non-practising Jew. I haven't received my undergraduate degree yet, I'm a senior and am not currently attending college. I didn't grow up in a religious household, but did attend unitarian universalist services occasionally. I attend a christian church now. I don't believe the way that others there believe, but I enjoy the fellowship and the services help me to get my mind off stressful stuff. They have been praying for my wifes health also. She is in complete renal failure and is a dialysis patient. She has been in and out of the hospital 10 times in the last year. I told my psychologist that she rarely asks me how I am doing and that this has been an issue in the past but I have adjusted to it. He told me to ask her about this issue and to try to express more gestures of affection, like kissing and hugging. I did that last night and I asked her about why she rarely asks me how I am doing. She told me that she feels I become defensive and suspicious when she asks me those questions. That is entirely plausable, however I can't think of specific instances where that has occured. We love each other very much. I hope I can learn how to overcome this.