I have just been reffered to an eating disorder specialist since my T doesnt deal with eating disorders and i am scared. I fear they will make me gain weight (even though im a healthy weight NOT LYING) and if its possible i would like to lose maybe a couple more punds and stay at that point. But i know thats not possible since losing a couple more pounds will put me under weight. NOT GOOD. Anyway, does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with potential weight gain. If i can stay as i am, i could live with it, but the untimate goal is not to put on weight as i am a healthy weight (just) anyway. Im so scared. Help?

Another thing, is it unusual that i want to recover but i dont. I have anorexia and bulimia (apparently, i purge my dinner and starve during the day) and im so so so scared of recovering to the point i alomost cried in an exam today. Please help!!